Rachel Van Amburgh, Oboist
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Road Trip Diary

A few months ago, I decided my soul and mental health needed a break from corporate servitude. Around the same time, Alex (my boyfriend) and I began scheming a trip to the Big Ears Festival in Knoxville, which has been a bucket list item for quite a while. Also, the world has collectively been living through 2025.

So, a solution was hatched:
1) Go hard to bank OT;
2) Plan a 5-week cross-country road trip from Los Angeles to Tennessee (and back),
3) Quit my job;
4) Pack up the Subaru (Suzy Sube);
5) Hit the road.
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We are unofficially calling this trip 'Suzy Sube's Search for the Soul of America.' I'm fully aware that it is a scary time to quit a stable job (even a mostly soul-sucking one) and travel through certain states (particularly if you don't want to catch MEASLES). Also "holding space" with knowing the ability to move on from a not ideal work situation to seek something greater is a privilege, and using this time to re-calibrate and return to meaningful projects.

Big Ears (Days 20-23)

4/1/2025

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We've been on this trip for almost a month now, and it has flown by! This long (and delayed) post is a devoted recap of our time at the Big Ears Festival, which was essentially the impetus for this journey in the first place. As most people are not very familiar with this festival, it is a 4-day event featuring nearly 200 concerts, talks, film screenings, exhibitions, and more in over a dozen different venues in downtown Knoxville, TN. The music tends toward indie, jazz, folk, blues, experimental, and ambient...in my opinion, Big Ears usually has the most interesting lineup of any festival by far, given that it fully embraces the fringe of so many different genres. I am tremendously grateful to have a partner in Alex who has such compatible (and wildly eclectic) taste in music and film - this festival was tailor-made to satisfy all of our quirky interests, and then some. We tried to maximize our time as much as possible, and somehow saw over 20 performances, 2 films, a handful of exhibitions, and squeezed in some great restaurants during the festival, as well. Needless to say, we had a fantastic time, and would not hesitate to recommend this festival to anyone who is 'sonically adventurous'! 

The three major themes that emerged from this festival (for me) were:
1) How genres in music have become somewhat meaningless (hooray for that!);
2) Apparently I'm very into what I'm referring to as 'cosmic femmes'; and 
3) Catharsis. So many of these shows were deeply healing in every respect. 

While I took videos at every show we attended during the festival (which you can find in a highlights reel on my Instagram if you're interested), I decided that it would be more useful for first-time listeners if I shared one higher-quality YouTube link of a song I love from each artist that highlights one of these themes, instead of the videos I shot. However, I included a few of my own videos here (Sun Ra Arkestra & Yo La Tengo, Steve Roach, and Rufus Wainwright) due to the unique nature/visual elements of the performances that felt worth sharing. I've also linked trailers for the films and info for the exhibitions, where available. I know it is kind of silly to do all of this work for a recap, but I just felt so inspired by these performances and want to give these fantastic artists the tiny bit of credit that I can offer. Honestly, this festival was a dream, and I'd go back in a heartbeat - simply the best all around. 


  • Films
    • Teaches of Peaches (trailer) - My respect for Peaches grew tenfold after watching this documentary...she deserves her flowers for being an un-compromised queer/feminist/glass-ceiling-shattering legend from Day 1. Watch on Kanopy for free using your library card!
    • Swamp Dogg Gets His Pool Painted (trailer) - This trailer reveals next to nothing...but trust me, even if you have no idea who Swamp Dogg is, you need to watch this fantastic and wildly unique documentary. Magnolia recently acquired the rights, so it should be available to stream sometime in May!

  • Performances
    • Marissa Nadler ("Lemon Queen") - My gothic 'dream folk' princess with a wealth of otherworldly ballads ornamented with both country and experimental fringes...she is the closest we have to a contemporary Elliott Smith, in my opinion. 
    • Sunny War ("No Reason") - I first saw Sunny play a solo set about 8 years ago in a tiny club in LA, and was completely enamored with her presence and finger-picking prowess. She's continued expanding her genre-bending work by effortlessly synthesizing country, folk, punk, psychedelic rock, and blues into her unique and endlessly engaging sound. 
    • Cass McCombs ("Brighter") - While my tolerance for whiny white dude indie folk rockers has waned considerably in recent years, I think Cass is definitely one of the least toxic of the bunch, penning some quietly profound lyrics that (shockingly) do not disparage women (?!). What a concept. 
    • Beth Gibbons ​("Floating on a Moment") - I was extremely excited for this set, and it did not disappoint. I've loved Portishead for years, but there is a lushness her solo material that is just irresistible. Major highlight.  
    • Kelly Moran ("Butterfly Phase") This was such a special show for me, because Kelly and I have been friends since we were in college at the University of Michigan! We studied abroad in India together in 2009, and she wrote a piece for my senior recital in 2010. I'm so proud and amazed by her career trajectory and the incredible company she keeps, and seeing her perform in a stunning cathedral to a packed house at Big Ears was so heartwarming.  I haven't seen her in ages, and it was wonderful to catch up briefly and give her a big hug. Her latest album Moves in the Field is extraordinary, and if you watch this video (my favorite track from the album) you'll also note her love and devotion to figure skating. 
    • Cassandra Jenkins ("Only One") This was one of the sets I was most excited about, because I've had Cassandra's most recent album My Light, My Destroyer (dream pop perfection) on repeat for months. Her set inside of one of the churches was extremely intimate, and the band sounded impeccable. 
    • Sun Ra Arkestra and Yo La Tengo ("Dreaming" - see below) It was my first time seeing both of these groups. If you know anything about the Sun Ra Arkestra, you know that seeing them live is an EXPERIENCE (there's a 10 second clip of the Arkestra alone, in case you are unfamiliar). The pageantry, the regalia, the dancing, and the unwavering commitment to an Afro-Futurist space travel aesthetic has always fascinated and moved me - and seeing them live was even more invigorating than I expected. "Dreaming" is a cover of a doo wop record by Sun Ra from 1955, and then I believe Yo La Tengo recorded the cover version in the early '90s. These two groups are so unique on their own, but getting to hear them perform it together was beyond special. 
    • Dawn Richard & Spencer Zahn ("Saffron") This set was tremendously healing and completely blew me away. Although you might pin them for an unlikely pair (Dawn is from the R&B world, and a former founding member of Danity Kane, Spencer is a multi-instrumentalist & composer), the results are breathtaking, and they complement each other so well. I was also able to get an LP signed by Dawn after the show, and she was very nice. A+ music for meditative moments of quiet reflection/catharsis. 
    • Jessica Pratt ("Life Is") Listening to Jessica somehow feels like being wrapped in the warmest blanket of nostalgia you can imagine, while also somehow staying incredibly fresh and inventive? I don't know, she just rules, and her live sets are completely mesmerizing. I'd seen her previously in a much smaller venue, so hearing her in a large theater was a totally engrossing/cinematic experience. 
    • Tarta Relena ("Si veriash a la rana") This vocal duo is SO RAD...their approach to traditional music of the Mediterranean that adds their own experimental/electronic touches is just mind-blowing, and they are so perfectly in sync. Highly recommend their Tiny Desk concert, too. 
    • Steve Roach (see below) Roach is a pioneer of ambient/electronic music. Given that his work is informed by the environment it is being played in, it was a perfect pairing with a series called 'Age of Reflections,' which pairs ambient music with striking visuals, usually in churches (it used to be called "Ambient Church"). I'm a big fan of both, and seeing them together was absolutely stunning. I included a short clip from the set we saw, so you can see how cool the visuals were in the church where the performance took place.  
    • Taj Mahal ​("Queen Bee") Taj is a living legend...he has probably had the longest and most revered career of anyone we had the pleasure of seeing at Big Ears. At 82, he still rocks and is so full of life, stories, and educational anecdotes about the music he's performing. His fresh takes on blues songs that are nearly 100 years old are inspiring, and he probably had the most fun on stage out of anyone we saw at the festival - period.
    • Beak> ("The Seal") Experimental rock that isn't too noisy (and only mildly anxiety-inducing). Sadly, while we saw another 1/3 of Portishead (Geoff Barrow) with Beak>, a Portishead reunion didn't pan out this time around...
    • ganavya ​("forgive me my") One of the most healing sets by far - ganavya made her set a group project by enlisting the audience to sing/hum during many of the songs. Highly recommended for any Alice Coltrane groupies. 
    • Michael Rother ​("Seeland") Another "living legend," Rother is a godfather of 'Krautrock,' as well as founding member of Neu! and Harmonia (and an early member of Kraftwerk, as well). To say this set was epic is an understatement - he blew my mind. Big highlight. 
    • Lankum ("Hunting the Wren") Okay I won't lie...these Irish dirge-singing folkies kind of scare the shit out of me! This is NOT lighthearted Irish jig music...they are very intense! But also very cool/unique/good if you need to get into an intense mood or scare somebody. 
    • Tashi Wada w/ Julia Holter ​("Subaru") Probably one of the most unique sets we saw all weekend! This multi-media performance featured an array of experimental video projections, interesting alternative tunings, synths, vocal effects (primarily from his creative and life partner, Julia Holter), and even bagpipes....? Some very weird stuff, some very cool stuff...very Big Ears!
    • Edsel Axle ("Variable Happiness") I'm a big fan of Rosali's indie pop/rock music, but this project is a very different expansive/instrumental project that just focuses on electric guitar/effects. Great zoning out music. 
    • Joan as Police Woman ​("Tell Me") I shamefully had not heard of Joan until the festival, but consider me a fan now! Soulful and catchy with just enough experimental touches to keep things a little weird, dug this very much. 
    • Anoushka Shankar ​("Pacifica") Anoushka is just on another level. While this brand of progressive Indian/jazz fusion is not always my bag, her artistry never ceases to amaze me. 
    • Rufus Wainwright ("Early Morning Madness") I cannot think of a better act to end on than Rufus. I've been a fan for a long time, but I must say that his voice in recent years sounds absolutely incredible. The visuals were also so captivating and innovative - I had to include one video of my own, along with one of my favorite songs he's written more recently ("Early Morning Madness"). Obviously a huge highlight!

  • Exhibitions
    • ​Pangrok Sulap (Malaysian Printmaking Collective) - It was a treat to see these woodblock prints up close - the detail is incredible!
    • Star Scores (Helado Negro, Darian Donavan Thomas) and Kite Symphony - Definitely the most experimental performance we saw, but I'm a big fan of Helado Negro, and since we unfortunately had to miss his solo set, I'm glad we still got to see him perform. 
    • Violins of Hope - This was a very powerful exhibition of violins that survived the Holocaust. Each violin's story is uniquely heartening and/or devastating, and while there were no performances in this particular iteration, it's worth checking out if the exhibition travels nearby. 
      ​
  • Food (everything was great): Mahalo Coffee, Downtown Bar & Grill, French Market & Creperie, The Original Freezo, Marble City Market, Parlor Doughnuts, Harvest, Cruze Farms Dairy

​Next up:
Nashville, Memphis
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    "Suzy Sube's Search for the Soul of America" 

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